More and more we are faced with numerous questions and decisions we need to take, without always knowing whether it’s the right thing to do or to decide. Most often we feel paralysed and are scared to take the wrong decision and have to face consequences we didn’t expect.
- Should I stay in this job/career or try something completely different?
- Should I become self-employed?
- Should I really go on a sabbatical right now?
- I face tough decisions in my work on a daily basis and don’t always know what to do
- Should I stay in this relationship/marriage or should I leave?
- Should I get married to this person?
- Is it a good time now for me to become pregnant or should I wait a few years?
- Should I buy an apartment and if so which apartment would be the best for me?
- Should I go on a diet and what kind of diet is good for my body?
We all have periods in our lives where we face change or uncertainty and where we are forced to take decisions. Sometimes decisions are being taken for us when we get fired or our company closes down, which is what happened to me many years ago. Suddenly you are in a new situation and have to build a new life from scratch, thus needing to take important decisions.
When my company closed down in 2009 something odd happened. I felt relieved. I have a strong business background: I studied Management and languages, worked in UK, Italy and then Switzerland for big corporations. It was always a huge struggle for me. I didn’t wake up looking forward to going to work, I sometimes even dreaded it. I would have nights with insomnia, migraine attacks and feel very insecure and I often felt that this was not me. This was not my life purpose. But then again, I had no clue what else my life purpose could possibly be.
Around that time I also had a relationship that right from the start had its ups and downs and was anything but stable. I however decided to follow this man to Azerbaijan, where he got posted after Geneva and had 6 months of further ups and downs, so that I came back to Europe as a shadow of myself. I barely recognised myself anymore and was in need for deep soul searching and healing on many different levels.
I then had the strong intuition I should move to Thailand and sign up for Meditation and Reiki courses. Without knowing anyone or anything about Reiki or Meditation I booked my flight and took a room in Bangkok. As soon as I started with Meditations and Reiki (a Japanese stress-reduction and relaxation technique), I found myself in a much better place again. I slowly came back to who I was before, but I also started finding out totally new sides about myself I would never have thought that I had. During my Reiki training I came to see that I deeply care for others, that I love helping others, that I love listening to others and working on other people’s well-being. I loved this new caring side and while I was still in my own healing process, after a year of intensive courses and practice I took the tough decision to leave the corporate world for good and to start my own little wellbeing office in Switzerland.
While my life changed drastically, and it’s not the easiest decision I ever took, for sure it has been the only right thing to decide.
I now feel in line with my heart and soul. My life has a purpose that fulfils me and that gives me so much space to develop further.
Accepting & embracing past “wrong decisions”:
Looking back I took what I thought “wrong” decisions, such as moving to Azerbaijan after a man with whom I would never have any stability. But now I firmly believe that there are no such things as “wrong” decisions. I see so many friends and clients who are so scared of taking the wrong decisions and then deeply regretting them. And that might sound true right after we took such a decision, but after a few years and when you look back, you will understand that every decision, good or bad, brought you to some place in your life where you had to be. Sometimes we need a series of bad decisions to get to a point where “rien ne va plus”. And it’s in these moments where we develop an unknown strength and courage to make much needed changes. It’s in these moments that we make life changing decisions and walk confidently into the direction we are supposed to be going.
I don’t regret any of my “bad” decisions, they brought me to where I am right now.
What fears are in the way of me taking a decision right now?
It’s incredibly helpful to understand why we are afraid of taking decisions. Is it a fear of failure, fear of the unknown or fear or changes in the status quo? Write down a list with all your fears and see which ones come out strongest.
Observe your state of mind when taking decisions:
Often we are forced to take quick decisions which we regret later. In these situations always zoom into your state of mind and observe how you are feeling. Are you sleep deprived, extremely angry, frustrated or depressed? Try and enhance your mood first, go for a run or gym workout, or try anything that you know makes you feel good. You are now in a safer place to take your decision
Visualise your desired outcome:
Are you facing a decision with many options?
Why not try and visualise them all? Listen to your body while you visualise. Which options make you feel happier? Maybe some options are easier to visualise than others and you will feel a difference in how you feel when visualising different scenarios.
There are so many different and effective tools that I learned on how to improve the decision making process that I regularly use on myself and with my clients.
I use a mixture of Kinesiology/Muscle Testing exercises to have access to the subconscious mind. The body will sway forward/backwards depending on whether answer is “yes” or “no”. That way I can determine what blockages/fears or resistance are in the way of someone wanting to take a decision.
I then use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to release trapped energies/emotions related to these fears, so that the energy can freely flow through the body, while using positive affirmations to reinforce the brain with positive messages.
I use a lot of Positive Visualisations and Meditations to visualise the desired outcomes my clients wish to achieve. This again is a very powerful tool to visualise what we want in life, rather than what we fear.
For those of you who live in Geneva this workshop might be of interest to you:
I have now teamed up with an excellent Health Coach in Geneva: Hiba from Healthwise to offer a powerful workshop:
The Power of Knowing: how to listen to your intuition to work, love and eat.
A mixture of coaching exercises and my energy based exercises as described above.
To read about Hiba’s experience with decision making please click here.
Date: November 19th at 18:30 – 21:30
For more info and to sign up click here.
Read my other blog entries:
Just a stranger on the bus
The little fish and the seahorse
The Happiness Wave
Hicham, the touristic train driver in Geneva
Be like a butterfly
The art of inviting more Magic into your life
Lessons to be learned by a tree
A true, inspirational story about little angels
Losing a lost one
The truth about smiles
How to have a healthy body, mind and spirit
How to develop your Spirituality
How to open your heart
The power of a smile
5 tips for new year's reolutions for a happier 2012
Christmas is for love
The Art of being grateful
The battle between the 2 wolves we have within ourselves
The wonderful power of unconditional love
A beautiful fable about love